Matt, Kibibi, and baby Eva :)
Hi there! I love this blog and I thought I might share a little bit here for some of you on why there are a lot of white men who do in fact like dating outside their race but have a hard doing it (when it comes to dating black girls specifically).
For the most part, from what I’ve observed it is society as a whole, as well as individual groups that discourage it. On one hand, its our own race discouraging it (Specifically white women). We’ve (as in white guys) been brought up in a pc culture for so long that we’re made to feel that its wrong to date outside our race because it is offensive in some way to other races, (specifically the men of those races) though simply existing as a white man is offensive to other races in the minds of pc culture, haha. Its seen as “White Trophy hunting”. The other is we’re discouraged by those outside our race not to do it, only to see them turn around and chase after white women. We’re conditioned by almost everyone around us (in my experience at least) to not date anyone but white women while we’re growing up. And lastly, racism. Plain and simple. A lot of people say racism is dead, but its still alive and well. The prospect of dating a woman of color (be she black or otherwise) comes with ridicule from all sides and even a bit of danger. I know of two very frightening cases where people were harmed for their interracial relationship: One where a white teenager was nearly beaten to death with bricks for dating a black girl and the other where some soldiers killed their C.O. and his wife for being married to a black woman and her for being a “traitor”.
I’ll be the first to admit that my experiences are not the rule of thumb. I’m not suggesting that all black men against interracial dating, but I have seen from them as well my own race and the media large discouraging white men and black women being together, going as far as to say that it’s wrong for various reasons, and in very terrible (but rare) extreme situations, killing those that do.
I realize that what I’m saying could be misconstrued as racist. But I have nothing but encouragement from those who feel they want to date whoever it is they want to date, regardless of their skin tone. I also understand that there’ll be a great many people will disagree with me, that heir experiences have been different ranging from encouragement to out rate acceptance. And that is perfectly fine, my experiences are just that, my own personal experiences. But I can say without a shred of doubt that I am not the only one who has experienced this.
It is sad that we live in an age where we have racial acceptance all around (technically) and yet people are still limited to whom they can and cannot date based solely on skin tone. But we can only look forward and hope for the best, and eventually this nonsense will stop and will be able to freely live and be with who we want to be.
My ex boyfriend, James & I, again.
We’re still friends : )