I want to begin by saying I appreciate and really enjoy this blog. Besides the fact that it’s fun to see all these pictures of adorable couples, it’s a great outlet for young women and men to see that interracial relationships are alive and well around the world. They’re just as natural and normal as any other relationships.
With that said, I want to comment on my own experiences with interracial relationships. My brother and I grew up in the south in a predominately white area in a nice middle class neighborhood. There was little to know diversity so with the exception of 1 or 2 people, we pretty much only knew white people. I’ve found myself attracted to guys of other races (mostly white) for a long time and never really understood why. Part of it probably had to do with the fact that I was surrounded by interracial couples. All of my cousins are either mixed or have white significant others; my dad is also mixed (German mom, black dad) so it definitely seemed natural enough to me.
Unfortunately, I was always VERY nervous around guys I had crushes on and basically thought they wouldn’t/didn’t find me attractive. I got shot down all the time and have had white guys tell me that they think black girls are ugly, and one guy referred to an interracial relationship as “jungle fever” (that one kind of hurt).
Although my self-esteem was damaged, I chalked this up to small town nonsense and went off to college. I met some fantastic people in college and had some great relationships. Most of the guys I met weren’t necessarily “into black girls” … we just clicked and things happened. That’s when I started to realize that it’s just about who you meet and who you’re comfortable with. Soon after that I met my fiance. :)
I know there are a ton of intelligent and loving black men out there. Unfortunately, the few black men I had interacted with in the past were not among that category and I continually felt out of my comfort zone. It’s not just about race though, it’s about the approach. If a guy is hooting and hollering at me from a distance (white, black, asian, hispanic, whatever …) and aggressively comes up to me with a bunch of nonsense, I’m not interested. That’s not my style and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Again and unfortunately, I have had many run-ins with the stereotypical guy that yells at you from afar and who can hardly speak proper English.
I guess my point is it’s not about finding guys that are “into black girls”. It’s about finding people that make you feel comfortable, whoever that person may be and whatever race he or she is. I’ve seen black, asian, and hispanic guys I thought were really cute; but I admit, I do have a stronger attraction to white men more than any other race. But, the people I’ve been with, I did not seek because they were white. Most I met by chance and we just seemed to get along well together, whether it was through music, movies, class, food, whatever. Sometimes it turned into something more, other times we were just friends.
So to all you girls and boys out there, be open-minded, meet new people, and find out who makes you comfortable.